4Months

I have reason to believe that my child has discovered his lungs. I also believe he is excited about this grand discovery. I am too...except when it's 6am, and he decides to exercise his lungs by talking so loudly the whole. Neighborhood can hear. (ok... I exaggerated)

Oh well at least he's excited about life.

Happy 4 months baby.

Dear Baby,

I have, once again, been proven wrong. (grr) I said I would never love another man, and you are a little man.
Why must you do this too me?

You follow me with your eyes, and smile when I look back at you. You sing along when I sing, and tell me all your secrets..(I'm assuming that's what your telling me, since we are besties) You make me laugh with your humorous "accidents" like peeing everywhere, and passing gas really loudly in public... and when you are falling asleep in my arms... You gave me a last little smile right before you close your eyes for good...

*sigh*
You are beautiful.
I just can't help it.

Love,
Your Mami.

Called to Minister

 As a child I was taught the importance of walking with God. As a young person, I was a bit resistant to fully render myself to the things of God but when I finally did, I did it for real. I meant it with all of my being..and I promised God I would do whatever He willed in my life.

Now, as I look back... I feel like Esther who was being prepared for something amazing. I'm sure she probably wondered at times "why me?", and all the while God had a plan for her.

Throughout the years God has been preparing me. He moved me to a different country. He chose a man for me who had this same desire. He moved me to a city where He knew I would have personal spiritual experiences. He gave my husband and I a child, so we would know about parenthood. He gave us a burden for the city of Guelph, and now called us to the ministry

 It's amazing just makes me think of  Esther 4:14, where she is told "...who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” I think to myself.. was I born for such a time as this?  We all have a purpose in this world, and our job is to seek it and fulfill it.

Starting a church is no easy task. I have been along my father side as he's done this. I've seen all the ups and downs. My father started completely from scratch but we are blessed to have 4 lovely families who are willing to do anything to help. I know hard times will come.. but I know that God is by our side.  AND we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!

To be honest, we feel honored, and privileged to be called to minister and we are ready to start another chapter in our lives.

Here are some photos of the inauguration service on Saturday.

The service.  

Being presented as Pastors and getting prayed for. 

My husband giving his inauguration-al sermon. 

A Love Story: Cindy & Ruben

Seeing that today is love and friendship day, and everyone is in the spirit of lovin', I thought I would share our story. It's only fair, right?  Ok, here it goes...

We knew each other as young children, and use to play together. Our parent's, to this day, are really great friends. I guess life sent us in different directions. I don't remember us being such great friends and playing together because I was very small. As far as I can remember, Ruben’s dad (who is also named Ruben) would come up in conversation every now and then. So I knew of his dad, but I had no idea what he looked like or who he really was. I only remember moving a lot around Ontario, and finally moving out of Canada at 12 years old.

10 years later after I had bloomed into a beautiful swan (?), we decided to come back to visit for a convention and stayed for a whole month. 

 In Our Prime.. lol. 

We visited for our church General Conference.  My sister and I felt hunger, so we went out of the building where they had set up these tents and were selling food. We walked up to the person who was taking orders.  Consequently, it was Ruben.
Of course, at the time I did not know him, to me he was some tall guy wearing shades who girls seemed to very fond of.

We got our food and came back to wait for our drinks, which seemed like it was taking forever. All the meanwhile, this guy was having a conversation with pretty much everyone who came to order food.  He was very popular and so very arrogant. This was pretty much my very first impression of him.

At the end of the event, as we were leaving the conference and heading to my uncle's house where I was staying. My sisters and I got introduced by my cousin.  Since my sisters are smaller, I was forced out of my quiet little shell and had to be the one making small talk.  Apparently, that was enough to catch his attention.  So we found each other on Facebook and starting messaging for a bit. Innocently, of course, because at the time I was engaged to someone else.  I am not one to go behind anyone’s back, so I made this known to Ruben. His response was statistics of how people in their early 20s never made it in marriage, and how at that age you didn’t even know what you really wanted.  I was so offended, that I just stopped responding to his messages, and that was that.

After our month stay, my sister decided that she was staying here forever. Since I had just lost my job in the states, I decided that I needed a change because my life wasn’t going so well.  I returned home and broke up with the guy I was “engaged” to (Thank God for saving me from that), packed my bags, and moved to Canada. I never wanted to leave in the first place, but now I was old enough decide where I wanted to be.  It was actually the craziest, boldest thing I have ever done, and now I think about and I wonder how in the world I got the guts to do it, but I am glad I did.

It so happened one day, my uncle, who is a pastor, asked my sisters and me to accompany him to a church service in London because he had been invited to preach. Well at that service, we ran into Ruben. I was not happy and still very offended, but for some reason, this grand encounter stirred conversation once again, via messages on Facebook.

I, personally, was not interested, because of all the rumors I heard about him.  I know that it was wrong of me to believe the rumors, but in my defense, he did show any fruits of being a God loving man. At the time Ruben was not really into church, as we call it.  So when he asked me for my phone number so he could text me rather than having to message me on Facebook, I didn’t want to be honest and “hurt his feelings” and I responded with “I don’t have unlimited text messaging, and that’s not a good idea” He seemed fine with it.

Or so I thought...

Ruben must’ve been having a bad day or something because suddenly, I got a message saying that I was a liar and that when I was asked for my number, I was not being asked for my phone plan.  He also said that not every guy that talked to me was trying to "get with me”. He also mentioned that I thought I was on a cloud and that I was Ms. Universe, and was definitely not. I was appalled. This was the greatest offense I had ever received. After this conversation, I ended up really disliking him, and I vowed never to speak to him again. 

Here we are.. displaying our egos. lol. 

I basically trashed him to all my sisters, cousins and friends.  If anyone had ever gotten under my skin, it was him.  Matter of fact it came to the point that my sisters got fed up, and told me to be quiet because I was going to end of marrying him. Oh, if looks could kill... She would only be a fond memory.

Months later, after I had forgotten about the greatest offense ever. My cousin was selling water another church conference. She was at the back and I got thirsty mid-service, so I decided to go get some water at the back. It was such imperfect timing because when I was buying, Ruben was walking in. I looked at him and acted like nothing was there, and kept purchasing my water, BUT My cousin, being the way she is blurted out "Buy water, Cindy is selling it" (If looks could kill, I tell you)  "No, I'm ok" He responded as he walked away. I was so embarrassed and angry at my cousin that I ended up punching her in the arm. 

Ruben & My Cousin.

The whole conference Ruben nor I did not speak or even exchange looks at each other. Matter of fact, at one point we were sitting at the same table with a bunch of other young people playing UNO. During this time I did not address him or even look at him. It’s so funny how prideful you are when are young. In my case, I was very grudgeful, my goodness!

So what happened? When did we start speaking again? First, you have to understand that at this point, Ruben had returned to church, and was now very involved in his local church.

After the conference. My cousin told me that she had a conversation with Ruben, and he had mentioned that he wanted to apologize to me for the greatest offense in history.  Of course, I did not believe her and decided I would find out if this was true on my own.  So I went on my Facebook and decided that I would publicly say hello.  I went on his wall and typed “hi”, that’s it.  I said to myself if he really wants to apologize then he would.

Indeed, he did apologize, and you know what as “offended” as I was, I accepted his apology and we became friends again.  Just like that.  Who knew an apology went so far.  After this, we kept on messaging, and with every message realizing how much we had in common. Finally, he asked for my number and this time, I gave it to him.  We texted every single day, non-stop, until one day he called me.

The hard part was telling everyone who I had trashed him to that I was talking to him, and that were dating.  I guess I had to pay the price for having talked so bad about him. 

First Picture we took together

At a youth camp. I forgot why we were sad. lol

The day we got engaged.  See my "I suspect something" face. 

One day at the park. I was "praying" for him.

Dating him was so nice. We both knew exactly what we wanted, and it was exactly the same things. We respected each other, had so much in common, and got along so well. I found he brought the best out in me, spiritually and as a person.

Seven months later we were saying "I Do"!  That may be little time for some but what you have to understand is that, after I moved and ended the “engagement”,  I told God in prayer “I am not dating anyone else until you say! I’m letting You choose my husband”, and I meant it.  A couple of guys tried to talk to me but I did not retort. I did not pray with anyone in mind, I just simply prayed for a husband who loved God! My priority was to strengthen my relationship with God, and when the right guy came along, God would let me know.  Ruben had also been praying for the same thing, of course, we did not know because we didn’t even like each other at the time.  Right before Ruben and I officially started dating, I prayed for a whole week with the simple request that God let me know if it was his will.  At the end of the week, on the last day, I felt as though God told me “If he is helping you get closer to me, then why wouldn’t it be my will?”  Obviously, it wasn’t an audible voice, but God speaks to you in the way you will understand whether it is through a preaching, a person, a song, a feeling or reading the bible. To me, it was a very very strong feeling of certainty.  In Ruben’s case, he asked for signs, many signs, all of which came to pass. 

So we were so sure, and we knew it was God's will, no doubt in our minds.  I'm so glad we looked past our egos, and defects because I'm truly happy.  He's not only my husband,  he is my spiritual guide and he's my best friend too. :)

(Thanks to my friend Helen.. for the wedding pictures)

A Birth Story... Benjamin Silas.

About two weeks before this story starts. We had a false alarm. We thought my water had broken, so we rushed to the hospital... With full out excitement. When we got there, I was still leaking a tiny bit but I wasn't contracting. They made me stay overnight, walk for two hours, which was very hard I must say. They set up an IV, did blood-work and everything. I did not sleep one bit, and to top it off, I was a bit sick, and the cold air in the room irritated my throat, and I had a huge cough attack. After being there all night the doctor came in to tell me that it was just a tiny rupture, to go home. I was really upset... And yes I cried. I couldn't help it. I couldn't hold the tears back. I really thought that was it...we would finally meet our baby. God knows why it wasn't time yet.

Now, the baby was 5 days overdue, and I was schedule for induction on that upcoming Tuesday, which was actually the day he decided to come, the 17^th.  So there was no need for the induction.

I started contracting on Saturday night, the 14^th.I woke up a few times to a contraction but it took me Until 6 am, on Sunday morning, to realize they were actually contractions. That's when I said to Ruben] "Ruben, I think I'm having contractions". We then, got up, and made our way to the kitchen. Oh we were up, it was finally time. We woke up my sisters, who were visiting that weekend. They were all sleeping in the living room. Before we knew it we were all up chatting and eating breakfast. We did not go out that day, as planned. One of my sisters was keeping track of my contractions as we played games, watched movies, and chatted to keep my mind off the pain. We even had a mini photo shoot with my talented sister, who also loves photography.  it was actually fun, and distracted me of what I was feeling.  My contractions were really far apart.

By the time my sisters left, my contractions were an average of 12 minutes apart. Ruben continued timing them and when they were about 7-9 mins apart, we decided it was time to head to the hospital, It was around 7pm. So, we headed to the hospital...only to be sent home, again. They pretty much told us to come back when the pain was so unbearable, I couldn't walk.  I got mad, not going to like and I told Ruben I was not coming back to the hospital until I was passed out from pain, and he had to carry me in.

It was a very long night. The contractions were gradually getting stronger and more painful, but they never seemed to get closer together, just longer and more painful. I felt as though as soon as I would fall asleep, a contraction would wake me up. So needless to say, I didn't get much sleep...again!

The next day, which was now Monday, was a hard day. We stayed in all day again, and we did everything to keep my mind off the pain. We watched movies, chatted, paced around the house, anything to try and distract me from the pain. I even tried to take a little nap through one of the movies

Around 4ish, the contraction had become really painful. That's when I said to Ruben "ok, we need to go to the hospital, I can't take the pain anymore". Exactly right after that statement, I felt the strongest contraction ever, and suddenly I felt like something popped and water started trickled down. I yelled "ah! Ruben my water just broke", and ran to the bathroom. I took a shower, while Ruben got the car ready, and shortly after we were at the hospital.  After I arrived I was admitted immediately.

Eek! This was it! We were finally going to meet our baby. In my mind it would meet the baby right away but it took longer than expected.

I was 3cm dilated and contracting alright, but the contractions were not close enough. The nurses sent me to walk for about 30min to see if that would help me contract more. It felt like the longest walk 30 minutes ever, and was really hard.

Ruben was really great though. He walked with me, and held my hand. He waited patiently when I had to stop because of a contraction. He held me when I told him I couldn't go on, and encouraged me. He was the greatest support!

When I returned to the room, I had what seemed like the longest contraction ever. Even the nurse felt it, and she timed it at 5 minutes long.  That is the moment I decided to get the epidural.

After, what seemed like an eternity, the anesthesiologist finally walked in. I was really nervous about getting the epidural, I thought it was going to be extremely painful but, it actually wasn't that bad, and it worked almost immediately. The only thing was, that it was too high in my chest, which is bad for your lungs, so they had to turn it off, wait for some of it to wear off, and lower the dosage. This time it didn’t really work though, it worked in patches on my body.  Of course, in all the areas that didn’t really matter. The nurse said I was a very strange case.  So they gave me another medicine, which was to be given every 2 hours...and it worked for a little bit, and I was able to relax, and take a little nap, until it wore off. They also gave me a hormonal medicine to get my contraction closer together.

By the time medicine wore off. My contraction were closer, and really strong. This time I was getting a really strong urge to push. My body was, pretty much, telling me it was time. I let the nurse know, and she checked, and yes. It was time to push.

The nurse then said to me "Since it's your first time, you will be pushing for 1-3 hours. Ok?" I said ok, but my thoughts were “I CAN’T DO THIS”   but to my surprise after the first push, the nurse said again "oh..ok...you are NOT going to be pushing for an hour"  relief.

Pushing was the hardest thing I've had to do in my life. I almost gave up. Good thing, Ruben was there by my side and kept encouraging me and when I saw the top of the baby’s head (they forced me to look in the mirror) it was definitely a boost of encouragement. My thoughts changed to “YES, I can do this!”

At 4:16am, and after 30mins of pushing... I got to see the baby come out. Yep, I saw it in the mirror they forced me to watch. I’m not sure how long it took him to cry, but it felt like a while because I was waiting in suspense.  I said to Ruben “Why isn’t he crying?” and that’s when I heard that cry and I was filled with so much joy and relief.

The most precious moment, and the moment that made it worth it all, is when they handed me that precious little baby, and I held him in my arms. I saw the little human that had been growing inside of me, kicking and moving. He was so beautiful, and amazing, and I was filled with tremendous joy and love, and I just wanted to hold him, and never let go. That is the moment that makes you forget it all...it like time stops for a moment, and you forget everything that's still happening. It's just You and your baby. 

Everything happened so fast, before I knew it, they had examined my baby and handed him to my husband. I remember looking over at Ruben, holding our son. He looked so happy. I will never forget it. You could tell that he loved Benjamin as much as I did. I asked to let me hold him again, and he said "No, he's mine...” lol. The nurses told him to keep the baby warm. 

Finally the moment arrived to go to our room. That moment everyone talks about...when they sit you in a wheel chair, hand you the baby, and you make your way to your room... and the other people you encounter look at you, wishing they were you... You can't help but feel proud.  
 

Overall I had a good labour. I managed to stay calm, smile with the nurses and even crack a joke while pushing. The Doctor and the nurses said that they had been waiting for a good labour like mine, and they were impressed at how good it was.

The truth is that it wasn't me, it was all the prayers. I know that God was with me the whole time, and I am eternally grateful to Him. What a mighty God we serve!

It was quite an experience I will never forget. It's the end of one journey but also the beginning of a new one...

 

 Benjamin Silas 

January 17th, 2012 @ 4:16am

7lbs 1oz

Pre-baby pics

Oh, Sunday. 

My Sisters and mom came over to spend time with me, take care of me, cook for me.. etc etc.  What sweethearts :).  Well My sister Mary, very talented in photography took some..maternity pictures.  I know I had taken some before, but I just wanted some where you saw the hugest size of my belly. I also wanted to take some pictures with hubby.  He doesn't like taking pictures.. but he was forced to. lol.  So,  Now we can actually Show Benji what were doing the day before he was born. LOL.  Just spending time with my Family, and taking pictures. :) 

Anyways.. here are some of the pictures. It was really hard to select a few from all the great pictures.. but I"m sure you will see more on her blog.. which right now is under construction.. but coming soon!!

These are great! My faves.

Reading "The Baby Bump" book. 

Hubs & I.  Finally a good picture

Family Picture :)

Pure silliness!

So.. you ready to find out.. what was in the bag?? 

Your going to have to wait a bit longer.. lol

To Wake Up Early.

Benji update: still not here. I've just decided to be patient. Benji will come when he's ready. There's no need to get anxious. Just want him to be healthy.

Today we woke up extremely early... Like 3 am.
It might be because we went to sleep early yesterday.
This is caused by lack of sleep in previous days.


3:00  A. M!  You realize you are wide awake, and can no longer sleep.
3:15 You decide to get up, and go about your routine (Shower, brush your teeth..etc.)
3:15 Your dogs wonder what's going on.

3:45 You have your time with God. I mean if you are wide awake at 3...then it's for a reason. Prayer time.

4:45 Get and fold Laundry.

5:00 you realize your starving and decide on breakfast at McDonalds. So you get ready.

5:15 it's raining out.

5:30 You are at McD's. Order, Eat & Chill.
6:00 Go home.
6:10 Movie time. (Can you believe hubby's never seen Rush Hour?)
7:30 check your socials (blogs, Email, Facebook, twitter, tumblr...etc)
8:00 write in "mommy to be" Journal. (a gift from my sister in law & mother in law)
8:30 do your chores.
9:30 um...What do we do....
9:35 fall Asleep.

Basically.. it's better to not wake up that early.

On the plus side.. you do so much more. :)